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Archive for July, 2006

I have given in and decided to post rather than keep searching for articles to reference for this ‘brief report’ I have got to finish in no time at all.  It is so windy outside, and the sun Wellington has been turning on for days on end seems to have gone back to sleep.  Mark thought all that nice weather was New Zealand’s way of saying “see, I can be really nice, so y’all miss me lots!”.  We’ll miss lovely Aotearoa wind and all. 

I visited another baby yesterday – this one was only three or four days old.  He was a little wee thing, but his kneck was strong, and he had a really loud voice.  The reality of what a huge thing it is to have children is dawning on me, as much as it can when you don’t have any sprogs.  It is such an amazing and terrifying thing, to give birth, and bring a whole new person, who is totally reliant on you into the world.  Looking at little Liam I just felt this sense of wonder at the event, and total AWE at his mama. 

Part of me really wants to find a pretty house with wooden floorboards and an overgrown garden and nest.  The other part of me just isn’t quite ready yet.  I feel like I have more to see.  I do feel like having children is something I want to do soon though.  It is a relief too to think that if I got pregnant anytime in my life from now on it would be okay, I mean, it would be a happy feeling.  Although my friend who has been dying to have a baby and is finally pregnant said she had a moment when she just thought, what have I done!

Tonite I have a full agenda.  I am weaving my mum a beautiful plum shawl and I have about half to go.  I also really need to write these papers, even though I DONT WANT TO!  Right now I need to go cook us some food.  It is my turn to cook and I am going to make a turkish treat – falafel (I don’ t have time to check the spelling of that one…) with pita bread and minty yoghurt.  I hope it is good! 

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what was i thinking?

I just went to visit the most gorgeous baby.  She was tiny and slept in my arms.  She was so small and delicate and dressed in light colours.  I don’t know what I was thinking.  I bought her black booties with bright orange flowers on.  Babies don’t wear black.  As soon as I saw her I wondered why I had brought those shoes.  What a baby novice. 

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A man was arrested in Auckland for hanging the USA consulate flag at half-mast during a protest.  I am not sure if Israel has an embassy in Auckland, perhaps they don’t and that is why five hundred protesters went to the US Consulate instead.  It is symbolic, but more interesting now I have been up in that building and seen the high security and skeletal number of staff working behind the thick glass and x-ray machines.  I guess Israel’s bombing of Lebanon is laid out at the feet of the USA because of their silence, and because of the metaphor of the son copying the father.  The indiscriminate bombing of cities of civilians in reply to the actions of criminals, terrorists, is like trying to shoot a wolf amongst the lambs with grenade.  Israel is carrying out this bombing because there is no one to stop them, and you get the feeling the US government is happy they are extending their muscle in the name of the war on terror.  New Zealand hasn’t openly condemed it either.  I just feel so sad, and really angry that war is a reality, that people can not care about other people so easily.  An army officer talked about it taking weeks, months.  How can people kill each other like that.  It is haunting. 

Everything is Illuminated is a beautiful movie.  I have read the book but I think the movie was better, which doesn’t often happen.  Well actually, not better, just different. It was lighter, funnier in parts.  It left out huge parts and some of it didn’t make sense, like why Augustine’s sister wasn’t killed?  The song that plays as the credits roll is super!  I got up and boogied and woogied to it, “wear purple”.  So after watching a sad, funny, movie you feel awesome!!

I have been thinking about my life goals.  I might put a page up just about that.  Being interviewed by Kim Hill is one, especially being on her programme where you play your life in songs.  Maybe I will do an imaginary post of my interview with Kim Hill.  I need to do something FANTASTIC or at least intriguing with my life first.   Going to live in the USA is a good start I think! 

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I can’t decide if I should take ‘the witch in the cherry tree’ or ‘the old man in the sea’ or both.  I am going to take my little old Chagall paintings book, and my New Zealand tiles we got for our wedding. 

I’ve only got three weeks to do so much.  I still have to make my mum the shawl I promised her for her birthday, I have to arrange to say bye to our friends, and I have to pack.  At work I have four thousand things to do, and I can’t seem to get any of them done.  I feel like time is stretching thin.  I did get a tetnus shot and have a meeting with my dentist.  I also agreed to collect for woman’s refuge tomorrow so I will be rolling out of bed at 6.30am and shaking a bucket on the street in the winter cyclone raging outside.  I had forgot about that. 

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It was a lovely weekend.  I said goodbye to Sadie.  I didn’t feel I had to say goodbye to anything or anyone else.  I just looked harder at everything.  I felt sort of calm about it all, about leaving. 

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DSCF0305

Originally uploaded by SBear.

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Paeroa


DSCF0302

Originally uploaded by SBear.

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